An Open Letter to My Husband & the Woman He Fell in Love With: PART II

4/10/23 10:23 pm

I am forcing myself to sit and put these words in black and white. I don't struggle with what to say or how to say it. But I am tired of wrapping my head around it all. Trying to fit my words into a manageable package is exhausting.

He finally packed everything up and left for good today—my soon-to-be ex-husband. For simplicity's sake, let's call him S2BX from here on out; Clever, eh?

We'll keep calling her Homewrecker Supreme! Oh, for chrissakes, I'm only joking. But since I can't address her by her legal name because her coalescing with my husband caused me legal friction I won't touch on today, let's call her Clay. S2BX gets the reference.

I didn't come here to moan and whine about it, though. However, I am here fully transparent as always and will speak from a place of love, not hate, for the remainder of this article. And while we're on the topic. I am composing this piece with only two intentions: To speak my truth and hopefully help someone suffering similarly.

4/10/23 10:53 pm

You cried when you left. Right there in front of our boy. However, it seemed an intractable gesture. I felt your whole body shake as you wrapped your arms around me; it felt like yesterday's embrace and the hug you gave me when we discovered I was pregnant. Honestly, it felt like both instances morphed into one—no other way to say it.

It's been nearly four months to date since I began this fight for our marriage, this fight for our family, this fight for us. So finally, a few days ago, I gave you my blessing. I ceased fighting the inevitable. I told you that I honor your love for Clay and will allow our son to get to know and love her too. Why? Because love always wins, my friends. Always. 

Of course, that 180 threw you for a loop. Taken aback, you said,

“Is it too late for me to change my mind? Is it too late for me to stay?” 

We both knew the answer. Yes, we both know the answer.

I'd be lying if I told you that the feeling that overcame me last week when I stared into someone else's eyes, listening intently as their heart beat in sync with mine, didn't catapult me into this place of acceptance and love and grace. But if you know me, and you indeed do—often better than I know myself—then you know I firmly believe that the universe is unfolding just as it should. So, who am I, or you or her, to stand in the way of destiny?

Remember, I vaunt my trivial music knowldege to impress you (how could you forget?) so I’ll quote the late great Daniel Johnston and say, 

"True love will find you in the end. You'll find out just who was your friend. Don't be sad, I know you will. But don't give up until, true love will find you in the end."

4/10/23 11:18 pm

I wonder if she is asleep in your arms yet. I think about how many sleepless nights you'll stand for before you tell her that you're sweaty and uncomfortable. 

I wonder if you're thinking of me.

I wonder whether or not you've come clean with her about what's gone down with you since the December to Remember. You know, the online affairs that never skipped a beat throughout it all. The nights we thought we couldn't live without one another after all and engaged in things married folks do?

I'll leave it at that. It's not my place to remind you that honesty is the best policy. Not anymore, anyway. I've hung up that hat. And if I'm being honest, I might as well set it on fire and watch it burn. Although a metaphor (surely you haven't yet forgotten my love language), I say it's the perfect way to end this chapter.

So, here's to the new chapter; the one which begins right here, right now. 

And to that, I say, bring it on; I'm a sucker for a nailbiting opening hook!